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Father’s Day

Father’s Day, for some has no meaning as their father was absent for some or all of their lives. He played no integral role except the part where he inseminated their mother. It’s a sad state when fathers don’t play a role in a child life in any shape or form. Now it isn’t always the fathers fault, sometimes the mother doesn’t want him around for various reasons. In no way am I bashing mothers who do an excellent job rasing or having raised their children. For certain mothers depending on the situation they may be better off without him. However, the child may suffer from not knowing or being close to him. 

Personally I know many well adjusted members of society who grew up without a father. Does this make them any less of a person than myself who did? Of course it doesn’t, why would it? I’m sure for many of these people it was the best thing that happened to them based on various reasons and for some to this day they have abandonment issues.

Men who raise their children in and/or out of wedlock owe it to the absentee fathers what is required of them. These men are the pillars of our society and are laying the foundation for the success of their children.  Children often look up to their parents for guidance and inspiration and in situations where the father isn’t around, they look to their mother.

Many fathers who take care of their children reap the benefits of reciprocity when they are older. It’s not to say men should raise their kids just so they van have their kids treat them well later on in life, no. This good karma if you can even call it such, helps breed a healthy environment and a blueprint for future generations.

My father did the best he could raising my brother and my two sisters. Despite us having different mothers (with the exception of my brother) he tried his best regardless of the circumstances. Things weren’t always perfect with this dynamic, it was something we lived with as it was our way of life.

In 2005 my girlfriend at the time was pregnant with our first child. We planned to name him Jalen. Unfortunately God needed him more than we did and he left us on the day of his birth. To this day I cry as I wanted to be like my dad and show my son things I’ve learned.

For all the men who lost the chance to be a father and all the men without kids being fill in fathers I salute you. This includes Godfathers, uncles, big brothers members and older siblings. Just because you don’t have a child doesn’t mean your not considered a father to someone.

I’ve learned a lot of things from my father such as how to fix things (and people lol), how to organize my life, why school is important, how to deal with women (still learning on the last one) and well so much more. The point is I’m not sure what my life would be like without him. No matter what I know I’m proud of that guy and what he stood for. He has a saying ” I may not be the perfect father, but I’m the only one you got”. As conceited as it may sound its spot on. I think he means it as a complement to us for than a “I’m the man” type of statement. I also feel he’s saying I’m your dad, I love you and you should be the best you can be with your kids. To me it sounds like you have a road map follow it and make me proud.

What is my father’s legacy? Well, last time I checked it was the lives he brought into this world, the numerous conversations we had and continue to have, the lessons I’ve learned and how to be a role model.

I’m proud to say I love my father. And to all the children who say they are fatherless, this is not true as God will always be your Father. He has never left you and his love is eternal.


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